BDSM is a wonderful world where there are plenty of things to try and explore. It is also one that is alluring to many people. Each person explores that world in their own way but for each one, they also start by learning. In fact, many “vanilla” relationships also have an aspect of dominance and submission. Someone tends to take on the role of the dominant in bed, even if it is unspoken. The dominant one has the ability to tell the submissive what to do, but only within the submissive limits.
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Like being born with brown eyes or being right-handed, some traits are naturally dominant. When it comes to the sexy stuff, a dominant trait can mean more than what you learned in ninth grade biology. Whether you’re just starting to learn about BDSM or if the idea of being the boss in the bedroom seems pretty exciting, knowing what’s a Dom can be super important in uncovering all the sexy stuff you may be into.
Some people might like engaging in these dynamics during BDSM play or sex only, while others like to incorporate them into their relationship and overall lifestyle. As BDSM takes on so many forms, it can be challenging to fully unpack what it really means to be a Dom. Power play is about exploring safety within boundaries, in a mutually beneficial dynamic. It is never about simply doing whatever you please with someone. According to Boyajian, there are a myriad of ways to navigate a Dom experience.
However, whatever role or dynamic is unfolding, the most important aspect to keep in mind is consent. Although it can sometimes seem as if a Dom wants complete control over their partner s , oftentimes, Dom sex or play is about perceived control in a roleplaying or dynamic. Rather, play that incorporates power dynamics is about roleplaying scenarios and subverting societal norms, like traditional gender roles,” Boyajian says.
Just as with any relationship, there are different BDSM relationship types out there, and more specifically, there are different kinds of dom sub relationships. Although each couple will be unique, the general styles or types of dom sub relationships can be found below. Believe it or not, there are plenty of people who have happy, enjoyable dominant submissive relationships that are entirely virtual and involve no physical experience or exchange.
People connect over the phone or via the Internet, and they interact through having conversations and playing out scenes with their partner, even though nothing physically sexual actually happens. This is one of the most extreme dom and sub relationships. In this situation, partners assume their roles on a full-time basis, building on the foundation of fulfilling the relationship as a part of their day-to-day lives and not just a part of their sexual fantasies.
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