Want to get this briefing by email? Rescue workers, still struggling to treat thousands of people wounded in an enormous explosion in Beirut, turned their attention to the desperate search for survivors. More than people were killed in the blast that leveled whole sections of the Lebanese capital on Tuesday. Anger swelled as people demanded to know who was to blame for the explosion, which may have been caused by thousands of tons of ammonium nitrate, an ingredient in both fertilizer and explosives. Lebanese officials said the dangerous cache arrived aboard a Russian-owned cargo ship that stopped in Beirut more than six years ago. The blast displaced some , people from their homes. These images show the scale of the destruction. For those looking for ways to give support, several organizations have mobilized in the region. Prime Minister Narendra Modi on Wednesday set the ceremonial cornerstone for a new Hindu temple at the site of a destroyed mosque in Ayodhya.
India’s Most Trusted
While the rest of the world believes that marriages are made in heaven, in India, marriages have always been made in categories. Until a decade ago, there were only two: arranged, where the parents picked the potential spouse; and love, a minority of couples who chose each other. Now, sitting somewhere in between and growing at a phenomenal rate, is a new one—the online matchmaker.
Netflix’s “Indian Matchmaking” has faced a lot of backlash, but the reality and agency than their parents and grandparents but didn’t want to.
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Indian Matchmaking: Why I have finally decided to go for arranged marriage
You want to share your life with someone special. I had lived my life up until that point thinking that finding a life partner is something that would not take any effort — that it is something that would just happen. After hearing that, I contacted Jasbina myself. I thought she would tell me to be someone I am not.
Reading it reminded him of a period in my life, my mids, when we were searching for a groom for me. I am a South Indian who grew up in Mumbai. But of course, I had to track it down. Since its release on July 16, Indian Matchmaking is all my Twitter stream can talk about. In the first episode, Taparia lays out the sociological context of the show for a Western audience: Arranged marriages are the norm in Indian society. A marriage is a union between two families, not just the bride and groom.
Families are heavily involved in the process. Even as matchmakers and families rarely bend on the caste, color, or status of prospective matches, they expect young women to let go of the few things that matter to them. My heart broke as I watched a supposedly progressive matchmaker warn Bansal, an entrepreneur with her own clothing line, that she should be ready to give up her career and relocate if her husband demanded it.
In the arranged marriage process, strong independent women are expected to relinquish so much that their identities are reduced to nothing. I cringed when I heard that. These three words, the bedrocks of patriarchal society, were repeatedly peddled through the show. The words reminded me of arguments I had with my family as they sought a match for me.
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I mate my life partner on Shaadi. While I create my profile, he is the one who sent 1st request. He is so much good heart, gentlemen. He makes my whole family agrees for our marriage due I’m Malay Read more. Ours is an arranged marriage but I would not agree because I fell in love with her with every day passing.
These men and women — or boys and girls, as they are referred to in Indian society, perhaps to reinforce their youth and innocence — of Indian origin are in their 20s and 30s, living in India and the US. Credit: Netflix. Indian Matchmaking just takes this concept further. Of course, each of these comes with their own good, bad and ugly. I think the entire experience felt like going on a journey with no idea as to what could turn up next.
There have always been matchmakers and, more recently, marriage agencies that connected families. And every Indian family has a Sima Mami who offers women unsolicited, and often blunt, advice to wear more make-up, or hit the gym to lose weight, if they ever hope to get married. Despite this sociocultural context, Indian Matchmaking has generated a lot of outrage, with critics and viewers alike accusing the show of playing up — or, at the very least, not critiquing — everything regressive in Indian society.
Words like hate-watch and cringe-fest have regularly featured on social media. For many women, the show was triggering , because of the way it has shone the spotlight on how intelligent, ambitious, successful women are reduced to a set of stereotypical adjectives.
Timeline of online dating services
The rhetoric of modernity, education, and progress is a powerful one that deludes us into thinking that regressive and repressive aspects of match-making are either a thing of the past, the rural, or the uneducated and uninformed. Denting this urban self-fashioning is the Netflix series Indian Matchmaking , which has held up a mirror to Indian society. Rather, it has shown how casteism and sexism merge with money, high-status, and modernity in the urban milieus of Mumbai, Delhi, New York, and Chicago.
Crucially, they consider their role as not limited to suggesting matches but of also undertaking a maternalistic paternalistic approach by advising prospective brides and grooms to change their attitudes and expectations in order to have a happy married life.
On matrimonial websites, many men and women handle their own profiles and are able to exercise agency in choosing the right match.
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The curious case of Bumble on Indian Matchmaking
Ketaki Desai and Sonam Joshi. Naina Hiranandani, co-founder of matchmaking service Sirf Coffee, says that dietary preferences have become very important to people. What are you going to do, check his stools every day?
After watching Netflix’s Indian Matchmaking, four South Asian women got on In the whole show, the women were so stripped of their agency.
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At some point we all want to find love, someone to share our life experiences. Can we even remember life before the internet? In many instances it seemed like economic sense to try out this kind of free matchmaking.
Sima Aunty or Sima Tarapia, the woman with the starring role in the docu-series Indian Matchmaking, is being called the stuff of nightmares. The Netflix show is meant to be a behind-the-scenes look at how arranged matches are orchestrated. How much did Indian Matchmaking get right, what did the show get wrong, and how much did they leave out altogether?
The fundamentals, it would appear, remain largely unchanged on the surface, but the details do look different. A good family still means one with ideally no crime records, divorce records, or children born out of wedlock. Young and good looking are now variable; well-cultured is still listed, but is variable too —it can mean multi-lingual, practised in the fine arts, and sometimes just money will do. This can make it harder to predict the parameters, matchmakers say.
The vanity checklist — age, height, weight, complexion read skin tone and good looks — still holds. Caste remains a factor, as do matching horoscopes. Vegetarian or non-vegetarian or pure vegetarian has become trickier, since young Jains may eat this and that, and traditionally pork- or beef-averse communities may have offspring that are not so averse. Type of job has become a more complex differentiator too. How many countries have you lived in? Do your ambitions include an overseas stint?
These are questions that are now a significant part of the conversation.
Premier matchmaking service
Matchmaker Sima Taparia guides clients in the U. Sima meets three unlucky-in-love clients: a stubborn Houston lawyer, a picky Mumbai bachelor and a misunderstood Morris Plains, N. Friends and family get honest with Pradhyuman. Sima consults a face reader for clarity on her clients. A setback with Vinay temporarily discourages Nadia.
The service is offered to both men and women, and the matchmaking What makes Linx an attractive platform for users in India is the fact that.
The Mumbai-based matchmaker Sima Taparia delivers this meme-friendly one-liner in the seventh episode of the hit Netflix series Indian Matchmaking. But she departs from this well-worn model in her attention to one extra characteristic: caste. This silent shadow hangs over every luxurious living room she leads viewers into. She lumps an entire social system, which assigns people to a fixed place in a hierarchy from birth, together with anodyne physical preferences.
This prejudiced treatment includes, but is hardly limited to, workplace discrimination in the United States. For example, the state of California sued the tech company Cisco in June for allegedly failing to protect a Dalit employee from discrimination by his higher-caste Brahmin managers. When a popular show like Indian Matchmaking neglects this alarming fact of the Indian American experience, it quietly normalizes caste for a global audience.
Contrary to what some viewers might think, the caste system is an active form of discrimination that persists in India and within the Indian American diaspora. One of the primary functions of arranged marriage is maintaining this status quo. That explains why people in dominant castes often carry out brutal violence against their own family members who dare to marry outside their caste, particularly if a partner is Dalit. Last year, in Maharashtra, a father reportedly doused his daughter and her Dalit husband in kerosene and lit them on fire to condemn their intercaste marriage.
These attacks are part of a pattern of families punishing relatives for rejecting marriages arranged on the basis of caste. Multiple episodes open with When Harry Met Sally —esque interviews featuring mostly older, straight couples in seemingly happy arranged marriages. Same-sex marriages are not legally recognized in India.
India’s most popular matchmaking service is finally being used in … India
They spoke in the kitchen, her mother pretending to wash dishes in the background and her brother hiding in a cupboard, eavesdropping. Thus, the beginning of her matchmaking experience ended almost as soon as it began. Executive produced by Smriti Mundhra, it follows Sima Taparia, a Mumbai-based matchmaker Mundhra met when her own mother solicited matchmaking services for her a decade ago.
Mundhra, who was raised in the U. She made a documentary on the topic in , A Suitable Girl , a broad and bitter portrait of traditional matchmaking in India. It follows three women up until their wedding days, documenting their loss of independence and observing the severe social and familial pressures they face throughout the process.
Indian Matchmaking. TV 1 SeasonReality TV. Matchmaker Sima Taparia guides clients in the U.S. and India in the arranged marriage.
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